He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
