I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Never joke about your clitoris.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize