Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
