so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
