But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
All I want is dick and wine.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
