i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
