saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
