Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
