I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
