the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
