whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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