Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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