i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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