BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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