Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
