Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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