I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
