You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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