Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
