At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
