Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
