you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
