Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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