My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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