I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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