he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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