if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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