Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
