never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
