you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize