we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
