You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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