Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
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