her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
