At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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