no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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