Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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