So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
