Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
