hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
