you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
