I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
