FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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