thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
