We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize