So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
