batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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