I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
