ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize