It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
