Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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