What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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