I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize