Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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