no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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