Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
