I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
