So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
