Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
