Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
