Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
