So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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