Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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