Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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