I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
