She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
