I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
