I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
