Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
