watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
