I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
