the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
