we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
