dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
