i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
